To my dear older sister

Good morning to all my readers. I am in need of some time away from blogging. Last night, I learned that my older sister/ex sister in law, whom I dearly loved was murdered.  This is what horror movies of made of, but unfortunately for me, this isn't a movie.  So obviously, I can't even function properly let alone blog, but I wanted to dedicate this post to Lilian.

I am going through all the usual emotions of losing someone you love, but I need to compose myself and pull myself together as I'm about to go do a car boot sale for a local cat charity, and I can't be arriving in tears. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I think that I need to stay strong and focus on all the good memories and the positive things that she brought into my life.  This is my mental though process right now, even though my heart is broken and I can't stop the tears as I'm writing this.  She would have wanted me to be strong, because that's the kind of strength she had inside of her.

I met Lilian when I was 16 years old.  It was during a time where I was a lost and misguided child and she embraced me like her own sister.   On a very trivial level, she was the first person to ever buy me designer shoes, which gave birth to my love for fashion and all things beauty related.  But on a more serious level, she was a role model to me. She was career oriented, strong, assertive, and fearless. She thought me what a strong Asian female was like. I would not be half the person I am today without learning that, and I learned it from her.  For that, I have always loved her, irregardless of what happened between her and my brother.  She was like a proper older sister to me.  I have so many little memories of her that fill my head right now, but that is the one thing that she has done for me.  I wish I could have done more for her.

So this post is dedicated to you Lilian.  May your spirit move on and not stay within that home, and I hope that you were truly happy inside before that tragic night happened.  I love you so much. I will never forget you...never.